You may remember him from such incidents as being charged with domestic assault while married to Madonna and giving the official ‘f— you’ to Trey Parker and Matt Stone. But as we’ve learned through his choices in movie roles, Sean Penn is really a calm, gentle individual. Let’s take a journey through time-and bipolarity.

Stoned:

One of the few times you’ll see long hair and a dazed expression on this man. Penn made a huge splash as Jeff Spicoli in 1982’s ‘Fast Times at Ridgemont High.’ Much better than the infamous bathing suit scene is the one where Spicoli gets a pizza delivered – in class. When the munchies call …

Murderous:

Nothing goes together better than death row and Susan Sarandon as a nun. Plus, ‘Dead Man Walking’ gave Penn a chance to work on his scowl.

Murderous in uniform

Scowling his way through World War II in ‘The Thin Red Line.’ The helmet enhances the natural shine of his glare.

Mental capacity of a 7-year-old:

Apparently they let mentally retarded people work at Starbucks. Or at least that’s what we learn in ‘I am Sam.’ Penn learns to act without scowling, and actually with a little too much grinning.

Murderous in Boston:

Aaaaand we’re back. Penn does what he was born to do-avenge his baby girl. ‘Mystic River’ has an intense scowl factor, particularly for the fact that he fingers innocent little Tim Robbins.

Murderous Marionette:

Ok, so it’s not really Sean Penn, but the resemblance is uncanny … it’s almost like the creators of ‘Team America: World Police’ intentionally wanted to mock the actor’s political activism. Penn is part of the overzealous Film Actors Guild, which goes to North Korea in an attempt to strike a peace accord. Maybe next year the real Screen Actors Guild will make the trip.

Published on September 21, 2006 at 12:00 pm