By now you’ve heard it at least three times: No one watched the Olympics. ‘Survivor,’ ‘Desperate Housewives,’ ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ and ‘Dancing with the Stars’ all beat the Games in Turin, Italy, in television ratings. Even the event’s crown jewel – figure skating – lost to a two-hour ‘American Idol’ special last Tuesday.

Surprised? Me neither. I watched a handful of hockey games, but otherwise turned the channel after a medal count update. Not even a flicker of curiosity.

Television pundits have theorized and calculated and stressed about the 34 percent decline in viewership since Salt Lake City in 1998. I’ve seen S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications professor Bob Thompson quoted in a half-dozen publications about the fickle fan and its interest in popular culture.

But I know why no one watched the Olympics this winter. Here are the top 8 reasons:

1.The overexposure of Bode Miller: The media rode Miller to a disastrous 0-for-5 in Turin. His free-spirited, all-or-nothing approach was a great story. But in the end, it killed him and the hearts of American fans. Two or three medals wouldn’t have been enough for Miller. The expectations for him were too high, and apparently the wine in Italy is bravissimo.

2.No star power: Americans were excited for Miller and figure skater Michelle Kwan. But after Kwan dropped out and Miller crashed and burned on the slopes, there was no one left to cheer for.

3.Nobody cared about snowboarding: The most impressive performances for the Americans came in snowboarding events. But Americans aren’t ready to watch a bunch of no-names performing the same 10 tricks in a half-pipe.

4.No storylines: Professional wrestling consistently tops the cable ratings because there are ongoing feuds. It’s difficult to follow Olympic athletes when they perform in at most two Winter Olympic Games.

5.The rise of reality television: It’s the old NASCAR syndrome. People would rather watch William Hong embarrass himself (a guarantee) than take a chance a skier will crash through a slalom gate.

6.Young U.S. hockey team: Have you seen that billboard by the Carousel Mall congratulating locals Erik Cole and Craig Conroy? While they weren’t the problem, the U.S. team clearly lacked the depth of the European countries.

7.The overexposure of Sarah Hughes: This might’ve been NBC’s worst broadcasting decision of the Games. Every time I tried to watch the Olympics, Hughes would be showing some home video of her sister Emily or recounting what Salt Lake City was like. She may have a face for television, but she could benefit from a few classes at Newhouse.

8.Miles away: The time difference is a constant problem for the Olympics, and unlike Nagano, events weren’t on television at 2 a.m. But even some of the most die-hard hockey fans couldn’t get up for an 8 a.m. gold medal hockey game Sunday.

The Olympic Committee has two years until the 2008 Summer Games in Beijing. By then there will be a new Bode Miller for Americans to whet their appetites. Syracuse’s own Jim Boeheim will be on the sidelines for the U.S. basketball team. But for Americans to bridge the 13-hour time difference, NBC will have to be creative to beat ‘Fishing with the Stars’ in the Nielsen ratings.

Timothy Gorman is a design editor for The Daily Orange, where his columns appear weekly. E-mail him at tpgorman@gmail.com.

Published on February 28, 2006 at 12:00 pm